Mi decálogo anti estrés

El error sería seguir haciendo lo mismo y reaccionar igual vez tras vez. Y no porque lo dijera Einstein y sea el dicho de moda. Ver de pronto y otra vez un escenario imposible que sin duda podría empeorar pero me detengo y entiendo que es más simple que eso...

 

Puedo mirar desde ahí las opciones personales. Puedo decir tranquilamente que si quiere cargarme el payaso que venga y con gusto le acompaño. Y puedo esta vez llevarlo más allá hacia donde me permita aprender y no padecer. Algo entre "elegir la emoción" y no resistirse al caos con lo que decido decretar "Mi decálogo anti estrés":

 

1)      No estoy sola. El más importante cada día;

 

2)      No me voy a enojar. Eso lo decidí ya hace tiempo sobre todo en temas cotidianos; 

 

3)      No voy a implotar ni hacer mute. Hoy entiendo y me atraigo al silencio que me armoniza. Busco asomos de paz;

 

4)      No me preocuparé (de más). Tampoco diré que lo puedo evitar completamente. Me falta mucho para acercarme a eso, pero voy aprendiendo a administrar sin que me secuestre. Sin que me esponje;

 

5)      No me voy a angustiar. Evitar el nivel malsano de desesperanza;

 

6)      No me quedaré yo con el problema. Siempre se puede compartir constructivamente y dar propuestas con más perspectivas;

 

7)      No seré la superpoderosa;

 

8)      No resolveré todo;

 

9)      No tendré miedo al no se puede;

 

10)   No voy a evitar fallar ni fracasar, es parte del aprendizaje consciente;

 

Es más, seguro que voy a fallar. Quizá fallaré a todos menos a mí!

Sorry but not sorry

Living in the U.S. and Puerto Rico as a Mexican has led me to learn the fundamental truth of not being sorry for everything. Many of us were taught down in our countries many symbols of respect and good manners like saying “sorry”. Others here hardly understand our being sorry is not necessarily submission.

I was raised in a non-traditional family in Mexico but with a very high sense of respect. My father was mostly dedicated to his work who pursued “good behavior” over feelings and emotions. My mother grew devoted to an omnipotent God that needed to be honored just exactly as children to their parents without compromise. She was left raising me with my sister and pushed us into the education she didn’t have. We attended a high standard school with British foundations and strong sense of responsibility where we studied hard and marched at the pace of drums and trumpets while singing “God Save The Queen” and “Mexicanos al grito de Guerra”.

I grew fighting between what was needed to be done and incomprehensive realities all around which got me confused and angry at a times. I slightly thought on what I really wanted out of obligation. I used to speak up from time to time which made me a rebel for my mom and unfitted for some others. I understood that I needed to work hard to create a new reality which brought me to the only known way of doing it by studying and getting a good job to live. 

I had the picture of wanting to be an executive probably to replicate my father. Also I thought I needed to get married then have children with a nice family like any other woman. It was a long way since then and being redefined but so far here I am:  

• The first member of my family who have lived and worked in 3 countries;
• The first woman in my family to marry a non-Mexican and leave Mexico in the name of love; and so on. 

I just recently realized that these are some of a list of accomplishments and how each of them had profound implications both personally and professionally. I started reminding to myself on the successes and also on the failures that gave me huge learning to be proud of. I realized that I don’t need to proof myself to anyone. I am good, I am nice, I am hard worker but above all, I am so damn brave!

I never planned to live in the U.S. but here I have learned on different ways to live each thing. Much less traffic, less drama, different stress, wider perspective and new empathy. The world looks a lot different from this very different place I am. The challenge now is equally or even bigger than it was before. I keep myself watching, learning and inventing new ways all the time. Improving myself and reinforcing my confidence every single day has become a priority. I trust more in my instinct, acknowledging my emotions and empowering my true self. Furthermore, I am trying to smile from the heart, to allow my own imperfection and to be nice to my own thoughts. 

It has been a great journey outside my country up to here where we Latin, Hispanic, Non-American can be as good as any other person around. I as many other immigrant people here work really hard and we own our right to be here. We are good and we do not need to proof so hard to all others. We need to believe our own worth and equal rights.


We need to stop saying “sorry” in every sentence and we need to not be sorry for everything. Because we are not sorry, we are great!!

Hoy

Es muy difícil irse lejos y seguir lejos.

Y hoy puedo  ver cuánto eso me ayudó a “cambiar el chip” o lo que es lo mismo a cambiar mi perspectiva. Me reconstruí. 

Hoy puedo ver fuera del dolor y fuera de los prejuicios aprendidos (cultura, familia, sociedad). Puedo ver cómo realmente soy y darme cuenta eso que en esencia siempre he tenido.  

Hoy reaprendo a convivir con el miedo para que sólo me alerte pero no me paralice.  

Hoy entiendo que mi enojo fue un poderoso motor que ahora administro y no me secuestra. 

Hoy convivo con la incertidumbre y las sorpresas, aunque nunca me acostumbre. 

Hoy confío en mi instinto aunque me descalabre. Sé que tiene la razón y lo aderezo con razón. 

Y cuando desborda la emoción sé que es por algo y busco acreditarlo, entender sin culpas. 

Porque aún con el peor resultado sé que terminaré ganando. Hoy puedo decir que no sé cómo ni donde estaré y eso está bien. 

No estoy lejos, yo estoy bien! 

Y los demás desde sus días en sus vidas me acompañan.

Un día a la vez.